Finally I m in Sunderland

After 24 hours..

finally i m in sunderland now....

this is a small town,

i dun hav the opportunity yet to walk around the town,

but i like the environment here very much..

hav to spend 9 months here....

hopefully evrything will go smoothly....

looking forward for the orientation week..... =D

Last day

the very last night in malaysia..

now is 4am, but...

i can't feel any sleepiness..

juz finish packing my luggage..

it's overweight..

n i keep repeating put the things in, n again take all out...

very fruastrated...

n now i dun care anymore..

my check in luggage is now 35kg..

i hope i m lucky tmr n the officer will let me go..

i cant tell my feeling now..

juz hope everything will be ok...

good luck to me....

超级不爽！！！

这几天，不知怎么的。。

心情就蛮低沉的。。。

不知道是自己过敏，

或是怎样。。。

就觉得他们对我有负面的看法。。

是自己真的做错了？

还是他们管得太多。。

为什么我就不能有自己的自由？？

为什么我做每样事情都必须顾虑到他们？？

为什么我不能潇洒地为自己而活？？

为什么要让他们来左右我？？

为什么他们那么多管闲事？？

为什么，为什么，为什么？？？

今天开着车时，心里真的有许多怨言。。

脑海里浮现出很多很多的问号。。

同时也讨厌这样懦弱的我。。

为什么我不会为自己辩护？？

为什么我那么在意别人怎么看我？？

也许是因为我不想当别人眼中的坏孩子。。

如果我狠心一点，勇敢一点。。

我也可以像某些人一样我行我素。。

不必理会不关事的人的眼光。。

不必理会他们的闲言闲语。。

但我想我还是没办法这样做。。

现在的我还没存足那份勇气。。

我必须承认，目前的我是懦弱的。。

只能在这儿宣泄我心里的愤怒与不满。。


到底想怎样？？ 我就是很不爽啦！！！

I need more time

The day for me to depart is getting nearer n nearer..

start getting worry as my luggage is yet to pack..

it's seems like the time is always not enuf for me..

went to dental to check my teeth this afternoon..

n went to buy some needed thing after coming out from dental..

n now i m juz coming back from neway in 1U..

had a nice karaok session with my dearest cousins..

n this will be the last time to sing b4 i leave..


Uhm ya.. went for hair cut yesterday..

after keeping my hair long for abt 3 yrs..

this time i decided to change it into short hair style..

nice duh.. satisfied with that hair stylist profesionality...


There r still many things i need to do b4 i leave..

preparing, packing, gathering, etc...

will spend more time with my family in this last week time..

10 more days to go...

10 more days to go..

after 10 days, i will be leaving my lovely home, family n frens..

and go to a totally new environment...

i couldn't really imagine the life out there..

but i hope it will be a safe n smooth life...


Can't describe my mood now,

as i, myself also duno wat's in my mind for the moment...

excited? looking forward? nervous? not sure...


Start packing n preparing my luggage this few days...

i got so many things want to bring over..

n i really hope tat i can bring my whole room there..


this few days starts arrange my schedule to farewell with my dearest family n frens..

got free dinner treat by aunties, cousins, frens.......

last weekend got dinner treat by 8yi,

then bak kut teh breakfast treat by xiao yi...

then today steam boat dinner treat by mei...

n more dinner will come this week n next week..

this coming weekend got a big farewell party for me n cheng take place at 8 yi house..

then again xiao yi will treat me either japanese or korean dinner next week..

dad n mum keep bringing me out for my favourite food...

n now i keep on eating yummy food until i become fatter n fatter dy...

hmmm......

my schedule is so full this 2 weeks...

n i hav to meet up with my dearest frens also...

hopefully can gather with them b4 i leave...


10 more days...

i hope i can fully use this precious 10 days time...

good luck to me n god bless me, pls...

H1N1 influenza

last night when i was sleeping...

i feel my body was so hot..

guess i got a fever...

i was so suffer... no strength to stand at all..

and there was an officer from hospital come

n telling me tat i was diagnosed infected by H1N1 influenza..

he was here to pick me up to hospital for quarantine..

when i try to walk towards the ambulance, i almost faint...

huh..... after tat then only i realise tat it was a DREAM.....

a horrible dream when i was sleeping....

luckily i still safe when i woke up in the morning...

the only thing is i had some cough n sorethroat..


and this morning, when i went to kindergarten..

i got to know from my auntie tat miss looi was sick and stay at home to rest...

after tat, i receive few calls..

1st, getting know tat miss looi was suspected by doctor infected by H1N1...

and the rest phone call was from small fish and dad

telling me tat the steps i should follow..

1st, measure the body temperature of all the student...

2nd, come out with a notice for all the parents, inform them abt this case...

then i hav to urge the kids to drink more n more water and wash their hand always...

keep reminding them abt the precaution we should take since one of the teacher was suspected got the H1N1 dy...


after school, it was really in a big mess..

we hav to inform the parents abt this case..

all of them were shock n asking a lot of questions...

after we had answer their question, they all go aside n gossiping...

i duno wat they gossip abt, but then sure is related to H1N1..

after tat, miss looi call again n confirm tat she's infected by minor H1N1 influenza virus..

the doctor ask her to self quarantined at home

and she will be ok after 1 week of medication and rest..

huh...wat a headache day today! ! !



and now myself getting sick dy..

it's same like in my dream, i feel so weak...

hmm...but then no fever..mayb it's juz normal cough only...

dun panic 1st.. if tmr morning still not ok, then i will go to c doctor...

hopefully i will be fine after sleep..


btw, i will be going to Fraser Hill tmr with the gang

to celebrate sue n tiong's birthday..

pray to god, i m not tat unlucky..

hope tat i still can go with them...

lazy mood

Been so lazy recently...

no mood to do anything.. juz got shopping mood only..

shopping = spending money..

hmm..... so broke now liao...

my things had become so so so messy recently..

i juz put my stuff anywhere n everywhere...

no mood to tidy up...

no mood to wash n clean...

even after shopping, i juz throw my shopping bag aside..

the 'store room' downstair is full with my stuff..

i hate myself for being like tat..

for wat i like is a tidy n clean personality....a hardworking gal...

hopefully i can back to normal soon n tidy up my things...

n also start collecting n packing the things tat i need to bring over to uk...

gonna start my new life in a totally new environment soon...

29 days left...

It's over...

Finally, the long vacation comes to the end...

and now i m home...

This Sabah trip was really good n fun...

we went up to the mountain n down to the sea...

experienced both extremely cold and hot weather...

enjoy the nice scenary from the place up above the cloud...

relax at this so called heavenly island...

tastes a lot of special n delicious food...


will blog abt the places i visit when im free..

i m always moody after the vacation, duno y...

cant get back to the normal life easily..

tmr hav to back to normal working life dy...

so ciao 1st..........

Holiday mood

Last few days was really busy..

Busy settle my visa application, buying flight ticket...

Busy settle everything in kindergarten..

hand over my job to the rest..

as i will be on vacation for around 10 days..



And now, yeah ~ ~

i m in holiday mood now..

will be going to sabah..

to conquer the highest peak in south east asia...

to pay a visit to my uncle's house..

to hav fun with my cousin brothers...

to look around Sabah and experience the life there...

to explore the legend of Sipadan island...



Still packing my luggage now..

Take out the dusty luggage bag..

wow.. really long time i din use them dy..

since last US trip...



Really looking forward for this fun n adventure trip...

hope everything will go smooth..

pray for a safe journey, good weather and nice trip..



Sabah, i m coming again..... after 7 years....

After 5 years....

After 5 years..

I go back to my secondary school again..

to get the stupid SPM certs for stupid visa application..

pls imagine that, after 5 years only i go back to get this such an important certs..

huh.. wat the.....



When i step in the school gate..

saw some super young junior..

none of their face is familiar..

hey, of course larh..5 yrs past dy lar...

suddenly i realised tat how old i am now..

time flies ~ ~ ~

The schoolyard still the same..

not changing much within this 5 years..

when i walk along the walk way which link from gate to office,

all the school time memories blast out in my mind..

I miss those school time very much..

miss those sweet memories that i had together with my dear fren..



when passing by my former classroom...

i had a strong feeling that i must take a picture of it as a remembrance..

this building, ground floor, second classroom

used to be the place tat i study, i laughed, i played, i had fun, i being naughty.....

really miss those time..

how i hope that time can flow backwards...

flow back to the time tat i had most fun, most joy, and no worries..

where the people can be so simple, frenship can be so true, i can be so innocence....

but i know it's impossible..

the only thing i can do for now is keep all those sweet time in my memory,

continue my life with all the strength n effort,

try my best to be true n sincere to all the people around me..

although sometimes the situation really makes me to be so fake..

but i wil try to live happily n try to make the rest of my lifetime to be more meaningful...

彷徨。。。

现在的心情，复杂，彷徨。。。

虽然很想赶快去到英国。。

但在那之前，真的有好多事情必须去处理。。

包括机票，入境签证，钱币转换，等等等。。。

虽然家中有好几位成员到过那儿读书，

但我还是问不出个结果来。。

许多事情都必须自己去处理，去找办法。。

就像最近，在烦着订购机票的事情。。

该乘坐哪一辆班机，该自己订购或向代理订购。。

一切的一切，都必须自己一个人去想，去决定。。。

但不能怨谁，毕竟这是我的事情。。

自己的事必须自己处理，这是我从小就学会的道理。。

除了处理这些程序上的事情，我还必须处理好自己的心情。。

让自己有很好的心理准备。。

一年在外国的生活，让我很期待，但又难以想象。。

无法想象自己一个人在异乡的生活。。

这样的生活会是自由自在的？享受的？

辛苦的？还是怎样的？我不知道。。也无法预测到。。


曾经一位朋友，让我玩了一个测试内在潜意识的心理测验。。

结果是，我现在处在一个十字路口，一个无法抉择的交叉点。。。

这意味着我现在的彷徨。。

对于家里的问题，我也不知所措。。

许多家里问题，我都必须自己面对。。

对于他人施给我的压力，真的会喘不过气来，

也会觉得及其厌烦。。。

常常都在想，如果我就那么一个人，没有家庭的问题，

那我会不会快乐些？？

但，这问题没人能给得到我答案。。

我不在家的一年里，家里会不会有什么变化呢？？

不晓得。。。


有时，真的累了，真得好累。。

多希望可以有个人能和我一起承担，陪我一起渡过。。


现在，我只希望能赶快离开这里。。

当然也希望，在我回来的时候，这些问题都已经被解决掉了。。。

但，我竟然没有要买回程机票的念头。。。

工作篇

很久都没写部落格。。

原因一，懒惰

原因二，每天都好累

原因三，没什么东西好写

原因四。。。。呃，好像已找不出原因了。。

最近过着似人非人，似鬼非鬼，但就像机器人的生活。。

每天七早八早就得起床，去到幼儿园。。

呆在幼儿园就是我一整天的生活。。

喊着一班傻傻呆呆的学生，哄着一群还带着奶瓶来上学的小孩，

追着一个个好似猴子的过动儿，骗着那些已开始叛逆期的小孩。。。

真的好佩服自己，到底哪来的力气和精力？？

让我能够呆在那里，从早上八点到晚上七点，

星期一到星期五，六月到九月。。。。

噢，我的天啊~~~

我不是最怕小孩的吗？？

我不是一见到小孩就会头痛的吗？？？

但可怕的是，

我竟然渐渐地爱上了这群顽皮，吵闹，任性，叛逆，过动的小朋友。。。

看到他们慢慢的学会了ABC，

看到他们偶尔会叫错我mummy。。

看到他们热情地喊着‘老师早安’，‘老师 I love u’，‘姐姐，我要你’。。

我都会情不自禁的乐开了怀。。。。

他们是那么的纯真，那么的可爱。。

但是，但是。。。。

繁重的工作真的是让我喘不过气来啦。。

我必须教书，改簿子，准备功课，喂幼小的吃饭，教补习，准备考卷等等。。。

哇。。。。我的时间全花在工作上了，

仅有的私人时间也慢慢的被这些小朋友给剥夺了。。

这样的生活还必须再过好一阵子。。

突然间，好希望九月快点到。。。。

Happy Birthday to the little one....

Happy birthday to little xing mei....

poor girl, birthday without momma at the side...

so, i teman girl girl today n hope she had a great day...

she'd blow 3 birthday cakes for her big day..

but tonight i thk she's a bit pek chek dy..

so, she cry when it's time to blow the candle...

hopefully she's all right and dint frighten by the candle n fire...

wish her with all my sincere heart..

grow healthier and smarter...

all the best to u, my darling little girl ~ ~

Balik Kampung Tmr

Been staying in kindergarten for 2 weeks...

spending more than 12 hours there per day...

it's really exhausted...

This 2 weeks was busy preparing my uncle birthday celebration thingy...

4-5 times meeting per week..

so i dun hav time left for myself...

rushing here n there, preparing this that....

the big day will be on tmr..

so hopefully after this, i can be a bit free...


Tmr, balik kampung for the big celebration....

Update**

Long long time din update the blog dy...

recently my life is quite busy...

start working in kindergarten dy..

everyday morning hav to wake up early,

go to kindergarten n facing all the monkeys...

some of them r cute but some are really naughty...

so normally i will stay in kindergarten from 8am to 4pm or even 7pm,

from monday to friday...

then saturday work in office for half day...

this is my life for the moment,

while waiting to go to UK..

i m quite looking forward for UK life..

the preparation still in process..

now waiting unconditional letter from Uni..then need to apply visa..

recently money spending like hell...

i need more money, money, money ! ! !

4 months

Went back to college today to get my result..

hmm... the result is ok,

i m satisfy with it..

Thx to miss pat for giving such a good grade...

after getting the result, went to ask for the UK thingy..

cant imagine.. i m going to UK soon...

time flies, it's like a dream...

so from now till the time i depart to UK,

i got around 4 months holiday..

and this afternoon, i juz decide..

will stay at home n help in kindergarten

for the rest 4 months..

m i choosing the right way? i dunoo..

the kindergarten life will start at june...

n now i m gonna relax myself first n hav a good rest..

tmr, again, i m going to genting..

with dearest frens...

hope it will be a good n memorable gathering trip,

although this time is a bit short time..

and in august i m going to sabah..

to try to stand on the top of mount kota kinabalu...

so i m trying my best now to train myself in frim everyday..

hopefully by the time, i got enuf strength n stamina

to climb the highest mountain in Malaysia..

juz now hav a nice talk with 1 of the fren n cheng..

feel release after sharing out all my feelings...

should go to bed now..

if not tmr u will c panda in genting...

Make up my mind

The problem keep on appear in my mind the whole morning...

I really duno what should and wat can i do...

talk to mum juz now..

she analyse the problem and the consequences to me..

so from everything she told me,

i know mum dun really agree tat i help him...

mum is correct, human might change,

everything in this world will change without we realising it..

Talk to 1 of my best fren juz now also..

she also disagree tat i help him..

but, seriously i really dun wish to c him suffer..

anyway, he's still 1 of the importan person in my life..

so talk to cheng n wee after tat..

and i hav make up my mind in helping him this time..

wee is correct, this is not a small amount but still,

it is not too expensive also if it really can let me know him truly..

so, thx to wee's advise and cheng's big help..

i m going to help him..

hope he can really solve his problem...

Should i believe him??

After dint contact for long time...

he'd msg me this morning...

seeking for my help..

should i believe him?

i m so confuce now...

it's really over my ability..

i dun really know him now..

but before tat, when few years ago,

he was really a good guy,

a good guy tat i can totally believe in 100%..

but wat abt now? i duno..

i really hope tat he's still the guy tat i know, the guy tat i can believe..

i hope he dint change for all this years..

if like tat, then i can help him without any worry..

i hope tat i can really help him with this small amount..

god, pls lead his way..

show him the way to undergo all these problems..

i really hope ....

tat he's still the dear kai tat i know...

i hope he wont let me down....

Poor little gal, get well soon...

Visited little xing mei in Gleneagle Hospital juz now...

she has been admited wad since last thursday...

really pity her..

fever for many days cause of lung infection...

juz now saw her, she looks so tire but still try to play with us...

it really make me feel heart so pain..

i love her so much...

she is really a cute and good gal...

she's so understanding and clever..

but, juz she's a special kid,

she's a bit slow in walking and talking..

may god bless her and take care of her..

she should like others normal child..

run around in the playgroud, calling mommy and talking non-stop...

hope she will get well soon and become a normal child soon..

god, pray to u , may u bless her with all the love and power...

I m blur...

Juz came back from the trip last night...

Trip?? yeah, it's a trip.. with coursemate...

the trip start at monday n ended yesterday...

it's damn tiring..

first we went to penang n spent a night there..

tat night, i was forced to watch a ghost movie.. Coming Soon..

it's so so soooo scary..

dint watch this kind of movie for ages dy..

and tat night really wanna kill me..

most of the time i was covering my eyes with hands..

waste my money for the ticket only...chew....

Then the nxt day we went to langkawi...

spent 3 nights in the island...

it's quite a boring trip i can say...

not much places we visit..

but then the money spent like hell...

i spent around thousand there... wtf.....

drinking is the basic activity can do in langkawi..

and i'd really drink a lot..

got drunk until i dun even know wat m i doing or saying..

and sure a lot of secretes been disclosed...

hmm.. let's forget abt everything lar.....

but for me, langkawi is always a good place as i like the beach + alcohol..

and i can get both thing there...

after 3 nights in langkawi, then back to penang..

then came back from penang last night..

bring back the yummy yummy rojak from this small town called parit buntah..

it's the best rojak i've ever test..

thx to the fren who bring us for this famous rojak..

after the trip, i felt a bit down..duno y..

it's seem like everything has over...

and i got nothing to do now...

grrr....... i also duno wat m i crapping abt..sien....

hmm... rest for few days, then again genting trip is waiting for me..

will be going to genting on coming thursday..

and hope this time will be the good 1 and hav more fun....

Music-Man Concert

Juz came back from LeeHom Music Man Concert in Bukit Jalil..

I m not LeeHom's fans...

But there is an extra free ticket for me,

so i juz follow my cousins to the concert.

We were super early when we reach Bukit Jalil..

I enter the stadium at around 7pm and i got a nice seat..

waiting for more than one hour,

then it started with Daniel Lee singing...

Yeah, Daniel, one of the super idol in Malaysia..

I love him especially his voice very much...

Because of him, appear on the stage,

this make me start feeling a bit high...

But he's not the VIP tonight la...

So roughly 8.30, the VIP shown up at the stage...

The fans scream like hell...

but i m juz normal.. not LeeHom fans wat...

all those LeeHom fans pls dun kill me lar...

But it's undeniable tat LeeHom is really talented..

He can play a lot of music instruments..

Tonight concert he show his good guitar skill,

he play drum, violin, and piano too..

and he sang about 20 somethings songs..

Some of his songs r really nice...

but i m not affected by the environment surrounding,

i m not as high as other audience...

I m juz like normal i can tell...

It was a middle-rate concert i can say...

Juz now they ask me, if not LeeHom, then who can make me high?

I din giv them the answer..

but my answer is, for sure Power Station will make me high..

Power Station really got the power which can make me excited...

Power Station, my super n forever idol...

UrGGhh.... m i affected by somebody??

再见了

在nilai的最后一夜

说不出的心情 搞得我没法入睡

今天presentation完毕之后 顿时松了一口气

但也有一股想哭的念头

毕竟这场presentation

是我在nilai的最后一次努力+心血，

它在我diploma的生涯里 画上完美的句点

蛮成功的一场presentation

在这一切结束的那一刻 心中有一股莫名的感动

再加一点点的激动

舍不得那些课室

舍不得那些老师

舍不得那群朋友

从课室回到房间的同时 我仔细地再环顾校园一次

隐隐约约地 看到我和朋友们 留过的痕迹

这一切都即将成为过去


晚上 再次和朋友去了KTV

不知道 以后还会有多少机会 像这样的和他们聚在一起

所以我会珍惜 每一个能够腻在一起的机会

珍惜 每一分每一秒 相处的时光


明天 就必须和这里的一切 说再见

我会永远记得 并怀念这一切的


在这篇 找不到任何句号

因为 我真的很不想 为它画上句号